Maryland State Sen. Andy Harris sure is a prude. Why does he thinks it's so unusual for University of Maryland students to go to a campus theater, voluntarily and for free, to watch a feature-length pornographic film about a few rather fetching pirates having sexual intercourse on their boats?
Well, it is unusual! Even though Pirate's II: Stagnetti's Revenge is the most expensive production in Pornography History, and may even display moments of deft screenwriting, it is still just a XXX porno -- a sequence of ginned-up, fantasized sex scenes. Kind of awkward to sit through with a bunch of friends, in public, for multiple hours. And yet they're adults, so who cares what gross stuff they do for fun? There aren't a lot of options in College Park.
Harris saw this, that some adults at a major public university were going to watch a silly sex movie. They probably would have giggled through five minutes and then left. But nothing could stop Harris from wasting the Senate's time with this groundbreaking moment in Draconian grandstanding:
Sen. Andrew P. Harris (R-Baltimore County) called it "shocking" and offered a budget amendment: Any public university that allowed the screening of a triple-X film would forfeit state funding -- about $424 million next year, in U-Md.'s case.
Good gravy, Harris. Get a life. Or a modest sense of humor! At least Washington Post's John Wagner had one when he was writing up this story, as his next line reads, "Administrators pulled out."