Most meetings are a waste of time. Between Bob yammering about second quarter revenue projections and Tina texting away under the conference room table, there’s little left for you to do besides one giant facepalm. But imagine putting a Big Mac® into your hands. We’re talking two all beef patties wedged between a sesame seed bun and dressed with special sauce, crisp lettuce, onions, pickles and American cheese. That’s right, corporate warrior, your 2 p.m. finance meeting just went from boring to delicious.
So you’ve procrastinated on chores for so long you’re now living in squalor. Welcome to adulthood. Sadly, you’ve got a long day of washing, dusting and mopping ahead of you, but why do it on an empty stomach? That bottle of Windex can be operated with one hand, right? Of course it can, leaving your other free to hold that Big Mac® you’ve been craving. We suggest the Mac Jr™, perfectly sized for eating on the go.
The automated voice. The elevator music. The endless wait time. This, friends, is the stuff of nightmares, better known as being put on hold. But do you know what’s not a nightmare? Snack time, particularly if it involves special sauce, a sesame bun and one or two all beef patties. That’s right, citizens of the civilized world, we’re talking about combating the global conspiracy that is being placed on hold with the fearless act of eating Big Mac® sandwiches. Trust us, the time will just melt away the minute you sink your teeth into that iconic sandwich.
Elevator etiquette is so perplexing. Do you engage a stranger in conversation? Stare at the floor? Flick through Instagram and pretend you have reception? The answer is D, none of the above. That’s because you packed a Big Mac®, meaning you’ll be savoring the juicy beef, the tangy special sauce and the gooey cheese while all those jealous amateurs standing around you awkwardly wait for their floor.
Do you know what’s better than breakfast in bed? Yup, you got it: a Big Mac in bed. So the next time your mind is racing at 3 a.m. and you can’t fall back to sleep, reach for that delicious Big Mac® — you can go traditional or opt for the Grand Mac™ because, hey, there’s no judgement when the rest of the world is asleep. Sure, you might still be awake when you’d rather be snoozing, but with a Mac in hand it’s like you’re dreaming.
Remember those carefree days when you could watch cat video after cat video without ever being forced to sit through an advertisement? Yes, we miss them too, especially when we’re dealing with that cruel kind we can’t click past after five seconds. The struggle is indeed real, dear reader, but that doesn’t mean we just have to sit there and watch another insurance commercial when all we really want to do is show our boo that video we already watched 36 times at work today. Make the wait time a little more bearable by grabbing a Big Mac® — it’s like going to a drive in movie from the comfort of your couch.
Much like YouTube ads, slow Internet is another tragedy of the modern age we’re all forced to endure from time to time. It can be irritating when we’re trying to do work, downright infuriating when we want to watch that aforementioned cat video. We’ve been there and we feel your pain. That’s why there’s a Big Mac® for that. With three Big Mac® sandwiches to choose from, you’ll always find a sandwich to distract you from any slow browser time. Remember: Slow Internet versus special sauce, special sauce always wins.
Who hasn’t cursed themselves for ordering an Uber when they’re standing on the curb watching cab after cab whiz past? Thankfully, you don’t have to stand there with your hands in your pockets waiting for Steve to pull up in his Camry. That’s because you’ve got a Big Mac® in either hand (hey, you worked out this morning, it’s cool) and life is good. Dig that all beef patty, you earned it.
Lines, our lives our plagued by them! Whether we’re going to brunch, the bank, or those sketchy carnival rides we secretly hit every weekend, it seems like we waste half our lives standing around waiting. To make the most of it, why not multitask? And by multitask we mean satiating yourself with a Big Mac®. As the old saying goes, time flies whenever you add special sauce to the mix (or something like that).
Fact: Having a case of the Monday’s is real. Seriously, ask your doctor. But just because you’ve been diagnosed with it doesn’t mean you’re going to call in sick. No, sir, not you. You’re a go-getter and we salute your work ethic. That’s why we’re suggesting you pick up a Big Mac® to make the day better. With three limited varieties, from the Mac Jr™ to the classic Big Mac® to the Grand Mac™, there’s a sandwich sure to get you through the most dreaded day of the week.