What a dream life would be if a sloth could make every single decision we faced.
Should we wear a sweater or hoodie today? (Depends on which direction the sloth reached.) Would cereal or a toaster pastry make a tasty breakfast? (Again, it's up to the sloth's mood.)
And if we're going to sip a stylish beer, at an iconic animal park, what sort of ingredients might a sloth choose, if a few different flavorful and natural choices were placed before him?
We don't have to wish for this last fanciful development to take place, for it has, thanks to a little sloth-sweet magic stirred up at the Los Angeles Zoo and Botanical Gardens in partnership with Simmzy's Pub.
For Charlie the Sloth, a resident at the Griffith Park destination, recently selected a few of the delicious add-ins that will be featured in Slothen Bräu, the star beer of the 2019 Brew at the LA Zoo on Friday, Aug. 2.
Various fruits and flowers were spread before Charlie's steady gaze, and after some sloth-style lingering, and a bit of sloth-famous chilling, the long-of-limb mammal finally reached for the pear and the rose.
So, you bet: Both of those delightful flavors have found their way into the special pop-up beer. Simmzy's Pub is again behind the creation of the Brew at the LA Zoo's featured foam.
It's a drink that's described as somewhere between an ale and a lager, with a distinct German Kolsch vibe. And it has a hint of sloth artistry, too, of course, though that can't be tasted.
Remember when Ranger the Bear was in charge of the event's 2018 spotlight beer?
He went with hibiscus flower and honey, being a wise and discerning soul. That delicious frother was also helmed by Simmzy's Pub.
An advance ticket is $65, and, for sure, there'll be other libations to try, beyond the one overseen by Charlie the Sloth, as 40+ breweries will be on the grounds.
Live tunes, games, and "pub-style grub" are also on the docket of the popular annual event, which is a fundraiser for the zoo.
And, as it is the LA Zoo, keep a watch for interesting animal encounters and keeper talks, too, while there.
Of course, will anything quite live up to sipping a beer that a sloth helped to fashion? By reaching for a pair of yummy ingredients in a very, very, very slow way?
If you're 21 or over, dig something crafty in your glass, and are fully obsessed with sloths, as many people are, and by "many" we mean "all," let's be honest, your event of the year is nearly here.