Nationals Hat Is the New Kaffiyeh

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    NEWSLETTERS

    TK
    AP

    Washington Nationals hats are already offensive enough to those who hold quality baseball in high esteem, but one Nats hat was able to break new ground in inducing outrage by tricking Israeli security officers into thinking it was a symbol of support for the Palestinian terrorist group Hamas.

    Tyler Allard, an aide to Rep. Jim Cooper (D-Tenn.) was buttonholed in an Israeli airport by security officials who wanted to know why he was wearing a green Nationals hat. Naturally, Allard thought they were ribbing him for supporting a notoriously wretched team.

    "Good question," his father, former longtime Senate aide Nick Allard, replied. "They are hopeless. They desperately need relief. You never know when they will hit, and because their defense is so bad, they suffer more than they can dish out. It's not rational and I can't explain why, but we are loyal and we love them." The more he talked, the more upset the security folks became, Nick Allard reports. Their luggage was checked and rechecked, and they were quizzed by security.

    No, the security officials care not for your unfortunate baseball allegiance. They are concerned because green is known as a color worn in support of Palestine. Also, the curly W might be mistaken for an Arabic character if one weren't familiar with its actual meaning.

    So there you go, the first time the Nationals have been seen as a threat to anyone possibly ever.