Dan Snyder wouldn't have any of these problems if coach Jim Zorn would just win, baby. Why doesn't Zorn understand this? Would it kill the guy to just win the games he's supposed to in order to appease the masses?
But no, he has to go and hand another winless team its first victory of the season. And now, all these bad people are going to write more bad things about the helpless owner, the coach, the players, the cheerleaders ... everyone.
Like that evil Pro Football Talk Web site. Who do these guys think they are, anyway? A headline says, "Let the Jim Zorn termination watch begin." That's not nice at all. Why do they hate your coach, Redskins fans?
The site said ol' Danny Boy is livid over the loss. Well who wouldn't be? But then they have to go and mention that report by FOX Sports that he's been talking to Mike Shanahan, trying to get him to take over the hapless team. Don't they know that words can hurt people's feelings? What if his buddy Zorn hears about that? It could devastate him.
Maybe Snyder should just buy that darn Pro Football Talk Web page so he can make them say nice things about him and his team. They played hard, gosh darnit! It wasn't their fault, really. Honest!
But who can blame PFT for trying to follow up on what FOX said, especially when you get a quote like this during the morning pregame show by Jay Glazer:
"It doesn't matter if you talk to a head coach, a GM, a team president or team owner -- everybody in this league believes Mike Shanahan will be the next head coach of the Washington Redskins, and they think it'll happen this season. That's certainly exacerbated by the fact that Redskins owner Daniel Snyder flew out to Denver following Washington's loss to the Detroit Lions, although he claims it wasn't to meet Shanahan. The league office said that the only thing the Redskins could do is hire Shanahan on an interim basis during this season because of the Rooney Rule.")
Loud noises!!! Arrrrrghhh!!!
Sorry, it just hurts. Really, it does. Let's try to move on.
And then there's that Peter King fellow from that swimsuit magazine. He has to go and mention all of this Shanahan stuff on NBC -- on live TV!
King said that Shanahan will not be taking over the Redskins this season -- or any team for that matter. He said Shanahan will wait until after the season, perhaps waiting until more teams call on his services so he has more leverage in negotiations.
That Peter King is just a bad man -- ruining Snyder's negotiating tactics. Maybe Snyder should just buy that TV network, too. We hear it may be on the block...
That's just the surface of it. On Web sites and TV stations and newspapers across the country, more bad people are saying more bad things about Dan Snyder's Redskins. And no matter how much Snyder prays for it all to go away, it's not going to -- at least until Zorn is gone.
And that's exact what many Redskins fans are praying for.