DNC Chair Kaine Can't Sell Out Obama Fundraiser

Virginia governor too busy putting out other peoples' cigarettes

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    NEWSLETTERS

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    "Sorry, Barack, but no one wants to pay to see you ride unicorns anymore."

    You all know Tim Kaine, the Governor of Virginia, right? Well you may have forgotten that he also "moonlights" as the chair of the Democratic National Committee, a job he'll take over full-time when his term ends at the beginning of next year.

    We only remind you of this "other job" in case you, like most Americans, have been wondering why he keeps e-mailing you about tickets to some lame party no one wants to go to.

    The DNC will hold its first presidential fundraiser of the year tomorrow night at downtown D.C.'s Warner Theatre. Yes, presidential fundraiser, so President Obama will be there! (And Tony Bennett, but who cares?) It's never been hard for Obama to sell out a fundraising event in the past, so all Tim Kaine has had to do is send a few e-mails out to big list serves with a link to the online ticketing page.

    And yet on Monday, Kaine sent out this peculiar e-mail:

    I wanted to let you know that tickets for this Wednesday's concert with the President are about to sell out! There are less than 200 left and I want to make sure you have one more chance to be there for this exciting night!

    Uh oh is right -- the fancy new DNC chair was unable to sell out an Obama event!

    And as of 5 o'clock ET on Tuesday, tickets still aren't sold out, including a bunch of "preferred seats" for $250. People would have *sold their souls* for that kind of a deal to an Obama party back in the good old days.

    So Tim Kaine, he needs to work on his fundraising skills. Here's a tip for him: less Tony Bennett.

    Jim Newell "moonlights" as a writer for Wonkette and IvyGate.