Not everyone loves football. We mean, think about it. A guy carries a ball for a few feet, some other guy jumps on him, and then the whole thing just stops for like, two minutes, while some other guys talk it out. OK, if that's your thing, more power to you (and your millions of fellow football fans). But if not, there's better things to do than hide in the kitchen during a Super Bowl party, chatting up the spinach-artichoke dip.
Instead, escape to Chinatown with some like-minded pals, where nary a football or sweaty man-tights will be involved. Instead, you can expect a festive Chinese New Year parade with -- wait for it -- a five-story-tall firecracker. Wait. Let us repeat that. A a five-story-tall firecracker. There's only one thing to say in a situation like this: DUDE.
The parade gets going at 2 p.m., featuring the traditional Chinese dragon dance, demos of Kung Fu (sweeeet!) and live music. Best place to get in on the action is H Street N.W. Between 6th and 8th. The huge firecracker goes off at 3:45 p.m., so either make sure you're there to see it, or, perhaps better yet, grab a flak jacket and go hide underneath something heavy.