Your Project Runway Season Eight Preview

I swear it was just days ago that Seth Aaron Henderson sent a bunch of gals in leather bandages down the runway in Bryant Park and won Season 7 of “Project Runway.” But Lifetime doesn’t seem concerned about taking a breather. The eight season of the landmark creative competition series is coming back at the end of this month, and it appears Lifetime is making a couple of changes. No, they aren’t going to do another season in LA, which was horrid. But they are expanding the series to 90 minutes an episode. From New York magazine:

“We did get always a few complaints from people that they wanted to see a little bit more, which we were obviously very excited about,” says Heidi Klum, who is obviously returning to host. “So now we have half an hour more."

Really? People asked for more? I like this show, but it’s already padded to the gills with blatant product placements for HP and Garnier hair care products (Collier Strong terrifies me). All I care about when I watch “Runway” is seeing whatever horrible garment the contestants were able to make out of discarded lightbulbs, and then seeing Michael Kors DESTROY each contestant at judging. So that extra half hour better come with an extra dose of catty judgments.

The show is also moving an hour earlier to 9PM EST. And Lifetime just released the names and bios of the seventeen contestants. Yep, seventeen contestants, an expanded pool of naïve waifs about to have their dreams crushed. Good stuff. Anyway, I’ve taken a superficial look at a handful of these contestants and highlighted a few for you to look out for.

Casanova: Yep, Casanova. That’s his full name. He also has an enormous face. Looks like he could swallow a pelican whole.

Gretchen Jones: Looks like Laura Dern. I don’t know if this is a good thing or not.

Andy South:
Every year, “Runway” brings in a guy with floppy bangs. Here is your floppy banged “Spiderman 3” casting extra for Season 8. I bet he plays keyboards.

Jason Troisi:
He’s wearing a bowler hat in his head shot. I do not like him.

McKell Maddox:
She’s from Utah and has white girl mini-dreads. So yeah, she might be a touch kooky.

Peach Carr:
Yep, there’s someone in the cast named Peach. And if she hooks up with Casanova, they will make a child named Peachnova. Peach is 50 years old. The token old contestant. The token old contestant never goes far. AW, PEACHES!

Mondo Guerra:
Go look at his headshot right now and tell me he doesn’t belong in a spelling bee.

Nicholas D’Aurizio:

So anyway, there are some of the assorted oddballs and possibly talented narcissists ready to dazzle you at the end of this month. Grab your sequins, people. It is ON.

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