Why oh why do school administrators have such a problem disciplining teenagers who send messages to each other on their telephones, constantly, during classes and assemblies, often with naked pictures of themselves attached?
Consider the high schools of Montgomery County, Maryland, where this fall's incoming freshmen students probably will never have known a self-aware state of consciousness that didn't include texting as a standard human practice, like drinking water or watching Internet pornography. Texting during the school day is banned at most of the county's schools, because the fundamental concept of "school" is to pay attention during sessions of instruction, instead of simply talking to other people, in any form.
But... but... the kids all text throughout class anyway! And you can't just confiscate their phones -- which is the rule -- because WHAT IF THERE'S AN EMERGENCY. The kids will need to text their mothers! Whine whine whine, go the whiners.
And yet the whiners may be winning! The goal posts appear to be moving, as a "compromise" is now sought to "defuse the conflict."
To defuse the conflict, a Montgomery County student leader has proposed a compromise: Let students text while they eat.
A resolution before the county school board would allow high school students to use cellphones on campus at lunchtime. Quratul-Ann Malik, the board's elected student member and sponsor of the measure, is seeking to define an appropriate place for iPhones and BlackBerrys at school.
And who are the kids at lunch going to send texts too? Probably the ones in class. Because one is at lunch and the other is in class.
Do they still have "detention" at schools, or did that go out with the housing boom?
Jim Newell writes for Wonkette and IvyGate.