What the Skins Really Think

Boring quotes have hidden layers of meaning

By Chris Needham
|  Tuesday, Oct 27, 2009  |  Updated 11:53 AM EDT
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Even after a brutal loss following a week of turmoil, the comments from the players after last night's loss to the Eagles were b-o-r-i-n-g.  But only if you don't read between the lines. 

Buried in seemingly innocuous quotes are hidden layers of subtext which NBCWashington.com's team of advanced Redskinologists have been able to translate:

Center Casey Rabach on the team's line play:

"Jason took a beating tonight and it falls on our shoulders, except the times it falls on his leg after I snap the ball poorly."

Quarterback Jason Campbell on the team's protecton:

"We knew, all except for that idiot Vinny, coming into the season [line] depth was going to be an issue for us, and it's kind of catching up with us a little bit, as if you couldn't tell from the grass stains and blood on my jersey.  The guys are trying to fight as hard as they can, but they suck, but with all these different looks that Philly was doing tonight, which is nothing new because that's what they always do, we were unprepared and still had backs trying to block their ends. That's a tough position -- flat on my back."

Coach Jim Zorn on what went wrong:

"What hurt us on offense was pass [protection] and the inability to run consistently because we got into third-and-longs, you bingo-calling @#$@#$."

DeAngelo Hall on what the defense was thinking watching the terrible offense:

"You know, that's the defense as a whole, that's all we can worry about, that's all we focus in on, because if we had to worry about the offense, too, we'd probably be committed.  Early in the game, when we had a couple turnovers, some things weren't going our way, we didn't let it frustrate us because we've grown to expect this by now. All we can do is worry about ourselves and try to cut down the number of 50-yard scoring plays we allow. Like I said, if we're playing 75 plays, 80 plays, or 55 plays (stupid three-and-outs), we're gonna play all those plays as hard as we can, and try to be as sound as possible, which isn't much considering our talent, try to make as many plays as we can, try to get our offense the ball in the best field position possible to give them the best chance for success, meaning within the 5-yard line; that's the only way those idiots can score. That's all we can do. We'll keep trying to do that.  And failing.  Lots and lots of failing."

Albert Haynesworth on his view of the team:

"What [pant] we're [pant] doing right [pant] now ain't working [pant] for us.  Maybe [pant] urgency, [pant] [pant] [pant] heart, want-to. Whatever. [pant] I don't [collapses; attended to by medics] know. We're lacking a lot of [pant] stuff. The [pant] last few weeks [pant] have just shown, [pant] I guess, maybe our true colors.[rolled out of locker room]"

Coach Jim Zorn on Sherman Lewis's play-calling:

"Well, the result was the same. We got 17 points, you bingo-calling @#$@#!!!"

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