The Post writes about the Facebook-less and Twitter-less goat-herders of Malta today. Wait, what? These aren't Maltese, but D.C. residents not wired in to social media? Seriously? Whoa! Get with the program, people!
One wife is trying to get her husband to join Facebook, and started up a Facebook group to get him to join, which is about as effective as a 1930s phone tree being set up to get Great Aunt Mable to get a phone.
Her husband has refused, calling Facebook a "time-wasting cesspool of pseudo-communication."
Say what? But how else is he going to see pics of his friends' fluffy little kitties? Caturday, man! Caturday!
A 28-year-old woman, Natasha Hawkins, hates it because of the drama, telling the Post, "I have close friends -- and I know how to reach them. People create arguments, actual arguments or disagreements as a result of Facebook. I am like, 'Really? It's a computer network?' We need to stop."
That's right. Nobody creates drama in interpersonal face-to-face relationships. In the real world, it's all smiles and puppy dogs.
Ricardo Thomas, 23, refuses to Facebook, but relies on his friends to stalk, err, update him on his past girlfriends:
"Last week, I was over at a friend's house, and he showed me a picture on Facebook of a girl I used to" date, Thomas said.
And? "I didn't know she had a kid!" he said. His friend "showed me her pictures, and I started looking at her status -- she was single."
A kid, no doubt, created by Facebook, since no drama exists outside the online world.
These technophobes don't realize what they're missing -- a whole world of party pictures, senseless grumbling tweets, and (did we mention) cat pics!