Despite our knee-jerk eye roll anytime the word "remake" is used, we were still anticipating our first look at the new "Conan the Barbarian" go-round.
And at first, we were pretty psyched, to be honest. Why? Because mountain of skulls motion poster, that's why.
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That's the note you want to see hit. That's either an angry Cimmerian or a Manowar album cover - either way, we're onboard.
But then the first trailer came out and between the forced 3D "gotcha" moments, the leftover "Mummy Returns" effects, and the fact that Rachel Nichols calls him "CO-nin" (as in "O'Brien") rather than "Co-NAN" - well, we were left cold.
But now we have this red band clip that is a ridiculous, over-the-top, bloody, Ron Perlman-caked slice of, well, awesome. Again, we don't expect a "good" Conan movie, per se, we just expect a lot of...this:
A 10 year-old boy slaughtering a band of growling Native Amerizombies? If the movie delivers pretty much that for two hours, we'll leave smiling, by Crom. That's how you sell people on the movie. Forget CGI snakes. We want blood and scrambled eggs.