While there are many things that Washington, D.C. does well... romance is not, historically, one of them.
Dating in the District is, legendarily, a disaster -- so if you're having a hard time out there all by your lonesome, you're not alone.
There's the normal woes, like deciding whether a "long-distance" relationship (across the Potomac) is worth it. Then there's the singles with nothing to offer but their audacity, letting you know they're just not that into you in the same breath they ask you to connect on LinkedIn.
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It's the subject of many locally viral memes, and it's been going on for some time. People in the DMV have stories.
We asked you to share your absolute worst date stories with us: What was your worst date? What is the funniest date story you still tell at parties? What makes your friends gasp in disbelief?
You slid into our DMs on Instagram and shared your most disastrous tales of woe. We shared them on the air, and will be posting more to our socials throughout this Valentine's Day.
Here are the real doozies.
1. Catfished
Sharonda, from Prince George's County, Maryland, said:
"My dating woe was, when I was away in college, I was on a dating app. And I went to go meet up with this person from the app.
"We went on a date, and I ended up getting catfished. He looked nothing like what he looked like in the photos on this dating app.
"I was like, 'never again.' I ate my food and everything, and I left. I made up some lame excuse that I had somewhere to be at, or whatever. And, lucky thing, my school was close by to the food place. So I walked and went right back to my dormitory building, in a haste."
2. An awkward serenade
J.H. told us:
"I went on a first date with a guy who is an amateur music artist in the area. And as he was taking me home, he played me his music, which wasn't too terrible. But he was very into his music.
"On the second date, he picked me up, about a week later. And he told me he wrote a song about me. So he proceeded to play it for me before he even pulled out from the front of my house.
"And we listened to this song, awkwardly, that he had written about me -- supposedly. I don't know if he told every date that... but that was the last date we went on."
3. All hail the moon church
J.H. had another story to share with us:
"I went on one date with one guy. By the end of the date, he was very serious, and told me that his plan for the rest of his life was to somehow start a church on the moon. Because he was convinced that the moon was the next frontier, not Mars.
"This was probably back in 2019. And so that was his goal in life, is to eventually start a church on the moon, so that people can go to church... when we all move to the moon."
5. The short king
J.G. said:
“I went on an impulsive date with a guy I matched on a dating app. Matched him in the morning, had the first date that night.
"He lied about his height on his profile, his photos were at least 5 years old and he was so arrogant in person I wanted the date to end even before it actually really started.
"He referred to himself as 'the short king' and proceeded to tell me how he can outperform (ahem-ahem) anyone for 4 hours.
"He was just full of himself."
4. Lactose intolerance is real
Brittany told us:
“At first I thought he was sweet because he met me on his way home from Pennsylvania. He didn’t even go home first.
"But I guess he’s on a low carb diet, so he was drinking straight liquor instead of beer. I was 5 minutes late, and he’d already almost finished a double. Then he kept telling me how all my opinions were “trash” all night.
"Oh, and he tried to convince me that I’m not lactose intolerant. He thinks I’m allergic to some protein and should drink raw milk instead.”
Brittney added that she finally left the date when he got into a loud argument with someone else at the bar about whether or not CPR always breaks bones. Later, she found out that he’d lied about growing up in foster care, and a woman she’d been told was his “sister” was actually his wife.
"Bullet dodged!" she said.
