Emotional Return: Gay Naval Academy Grad Celebrates Class Reunion After Years of Hiding

Thousands of graduates from the U.S. Naval Academy are returning to Annapolis this weekend for their class reunions.

At least one of them is walking onto campus as an openly gay man – something he never could be in college. 

“I was really worried about being found out,” said Lt. Lou Feuchtbaum, who graduated from the Naval Academy in 1986. “Back then the Navy treated allegations of homosexuality, they treated investigations of people suspected of being gay, the same way they did large crimes.”

Feuchtbaum continued to hide his sexuality after graduating, throughout the seven years he served in the Navy. “When I would muster up the courage to go out to social places, clubs in D.C., I would always lie about where I was from, what my name was,” he said. “I was so paranoid.”

He added that his anxiety went “beyond paranoia. There were rational reasons for being worried about being discovered.” 

Even years after leaving the Navy and getting married to his husband, Lorenzo, he was afraid to return and be himself on campus.

Once, while visiting the campus, Lorenzo tried to hold his hand; Feuchtbaum brushed it off and walked away from his husband.

But Feuchtbaum loved the Academy, and stressed that though hiding was painful, he held no grudge against the school or the service.

“The hard part of coming here and being gay, there’s an implicit part in doing that where you are lying to people who you are close with,” he said.

“I’m just an ordinary guy who was lucky enough to come to the Naval Academy. My classmates, they are impressive. That I had to lie to them – that really bothered me,” he said.

That’s why this year is so special for Feuchtbaum. Since 2011, gay men and women have been able to serve openly in the U.S. armed forces. And the Defense of Marriage act is no more, meaning same-sex couples who work for the government – including the military – get full federal benefits.

Now, Feuchtbaum – who is an attorney who lives in San Francisco – feels he can come to homecoming and be himself on the campus he loves. 

“This is something I never expected – I would be standing outside the main gate of the Naval Academy talking about what it was like to be a gay midshipman,” he said.

“It’s not an issue anymore. This is our homecoming, and for me it truly is a homecoming.”