Don't Tase Me, Road

Let this be your final warning

By Chris Needham
|  Monday, Oct 12, 2009  |  Updated 2:45 PM EDT
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Don't Tase Me, Road

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Eat lightning, speeder!

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Attention citizens of Chevy Chase: You should soon be on the lookout for some Taser-waving cops.

Nothing screams "public safety" quite like 30,000 watts of electricity surging through a person's body, but that's what's about to happen in Chevy Chase, thanks to its speed cameras, reports The Washington Examiner.

All those times you and your lead-footed friends blew through CC's speed cameras have added up to a lot of traffic fines.  And now the village needs to figure out what to do with the giant pot of money before someone crazy like Lyle Lanley comes to town urging them to build a Monorail.

Since the money's supposed to be spent on "public safety purposes," what's a police chief to do, but amp up?  Chief Roy Gordon told The Examiner, "Anytime we can put a tool in the hands of a police officer that's going to be less than lethal force, why not?"

It's unclear how many water pistols, Nerf bats and electric joke buzzers he's ordered with the dough.  But the 12 Tasers he's planning on ordering will cost the village about $30,000.

"I think the public would prefer to see speed camera revenues directly related to traffic safety," Montgomery County Councilman Phil Andrews said.

So let this be a lesson and a warning to you Chevy Chase drivers.  Next time you're pulled over for blowing through a stop sign or failing to signal a left turn, be polite to your ticketing officer or prepare to feel the surge of Police Chief Gordon's power running through your ribs, down to your toes and into the ground.

Safety first, after all.

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