Shrinkage may be an ugly issue, but at least Daniel Radcliffe has found an elegant fig leaf to hide his shame.
He first compared himself to a hamster when his very unhorse-like manhood became the subject of chatter after he appeared naked onstage in the play "Equus." Now he's comparing himself to Michelangelo's David.
"Ah, yes. Now, that's an interesting one," the actor known best as Harry Potter said somewhat anxiously. "Michelangelo's David is supposed to be facing Goliath in the famous sculpture, which is why his parts are probably not looking the best that day. That's pretty much what happens to me on stage."
More than happy to explain, Radcliffe further explained, "My friend said to me 'Are you ever worried about getting an erection on stage?' "
"And I said 'No. That would be great!'" Radcliffe said to spirited applause from the audience. "It is rather the opposite that takes place."
"It's like getting out of a really cold lake or something," added Lipton sagely.
Perhaps, Lipton has firsthand knowledge of shrinkage or perhaps he recalls the immortal lines about it from by the existential dramatists of "Seinfeld":
George: Do women know about shrinkage?
Elaine: What do you mean, like laundry?
Jerry: Like when a man goes swimming... afterwards...
Elaine: It shrinks?
Jerry: Like a frightened turtle!
From a turtle to a hamster to Michelangelo's David, at least the shrinkage similes are growing in stature.