Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things to watch on TV this weekend while you stay at home and weave elaborate tapestries featuring your cat. LET’S GO!
THE COMEDY CENTRAL ROAST OF DAVID HASSELHOFF - 10PM Sunday (Comedy Central) It’s time once again for Comedy Central to exploit the old Friar’s Club tradition and honor a star (this time, David Hasselhoff, because why not) by parading a bunch of people up to a microphone to say rotten things about him. Your professional comedian roasters for the evening include Greg Giraldo and Jeffrey Ross. Nice. Excellent. That’s the good news. The bad news is these roasts always come with an eclectic group of roasters chosen seemingly at random, including people who have NO experience doing standup comedy. Which is why you’ll also be hearing from Hulk Hogan (juh?), George Hamilton (umm…), and Pam Anderson (well, they did do Baywatch together). Your host is “Family Guy” mastermind Seth McFarlane. Because… well, no one quite knows why. ANTICIPATION: FILTHY!
DEN BROTHER - 8PM tonight (Disney) It’s a Disney Channel original movie, this one about a cocky hockey player (is there any other kind?) forced to lead his little sister’s Bumble Bee scout troop. It’s just like “Troop Beverly Hills,” only without Shelley Long, and with a hockey player. Will lessons be learned? Will our main character warm up to those cuddly little scout troops? Will they all share a sleeve of thin mints at the end? Oh, I think so. ANTICIPATION: THIN MINTS!
SAY YES TO THE DRESS - 9PM tonight (TLC) Join future brides as they show for wedding dresses. It’s just like going with them in person, only with all of the indecision and none of the free champagne. They’re all white and they all cost two grand, lady. Pick one already. ANTICIPATION: DRESSY!
BABY BIRTHDAY BASHES - 10PM Sunday (BBC America) Lavish birthday parties are thrown for snotty little British toddlers who probably don’t even realize what the heck is going on. If you have a child under three and you’re spending more than a hundred bucks on some birthday party for the kid, just know that I’m coming to get you. ANTICIPATION: NEEDLESS!
THE GREAT FOOD TRUCK RACE - 10PM Sunday (Food Network) Competing food truck race across America for $50,000 in cash prizes. It’s gonna be awfully hard to order that doner kebab while going 85mph, but I’m game to give it a shot. ANTICIPATION: FAST FOOD!