Great D.C. Sports Quotes

As part of CSN’s anniversary festivities, they’ve put together a video montage of great D.C. sports sound bites.

Any time you have your favorite sports figures talking about harvesting nuts and falling in love with strippers, you know it's worth the 65 seconds of your time to watch it.

They’ve got some pretty good ones covered, but we noticed that some of our favorites were left out, including ...

  • Anything Clinton Portis ever said.
  • Deion Sanders in his introductory press conference: 

“I don’t play for the money, although the money is fine. Thank you, God bless you Mr. Snyder.”

  • Fred Smoot, who had more great quotes than we could fit here:

"I wasn't gonna play because of my groin, but once [Shawn Springs] got hurt I had to man it up and call my grandma and tell her I need some red clay dirt. That's what we use down South to heal you, heal your muscles."

“Smoot, that's a Dutch name. Plus, you know, I had a wood shoe in my room growing up."

“Seventy-five percent of the world is covered by water. The rest is covered by Smoot."

  • Matt Stairs

“When you get that nice celebration coming into the dugout and you’re getting you’re a** hammered by guys—there’s no better feeling than to have that done.”  (He was with Philly at the time, which explains a lot.)

  • Joe Gibbs

"I know we don't have any Dallas people here; they are the ugliest people in the world.''

  • Joe Theisman

"The term 'genius' is inapplicable to anyone in this game. A genius is Norman Einstein."

  • Alex Ovechkin

"I'm OK; Russian machine never breaks."

“This is a good day, I have a key for a city, and, uh, I’m a president this day for the city, so everyone have fun and no speed limits.”

And while we’re on the subject of Ovechkin, while he tends be a little quieter in interviews, he’s hilarious off the ice. We unearthed this gem as proof.

Did we miss your favorite D.C. sports quote? Let us know in the comments.

Questions, comments or tips? Email Sarah at You can also follow her on Twitter (@sarahschorno).

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