Well, five weeks in and I finally land my first push. Which is good news (and a little bizarre) I guess, since I still went 5-7-1 for the week. Which brings my astounding season total to 31-41-1. On the bright side, my Tungsten picks are 7-3, so if you've been placing your money ... actually scratch that. If you're wagering on my picks, you're a bigger loser than me.
But, I have been known to occasionally get warm. Streaky business this handicapping. Let's rock.
Oakland Raiders @ New Orleans Saints (-7)
You would think that the Saints could come off Monday night's debacle and piece together a decent game against the frigging Raiders. And I don't want Mantz accusing me of jinxing the Saints this week. Or did I just do that? Crap.
Saints -7
Baltimore Ravens @ Indianapolis Colts (-4)
Peyton Manning is like the Phil Mickelson of football and that should be self explanatory. (Loser turned winner goofball type.) Sage Rosenfels is still working on that transition so maybe Peyton doesn't deserve all the credit. Still, I'm not generally inclined to bet on Joe Flacco over anyone named Manning.
Colts -4
Cincinnati Bengals @ New York Jets (-6)
Doesn't this feel like a trap game? Cincy's horrible but they've at least been close in a few recent games. Jets favored by less than a touchdown, people teasing Brett Favre all over the place (No, not the "Nice painkiller addiction, wuss!!" type of teasing, you jackass.) And then BAM. Ryan Fitzpatrick gets all up in your bidness.
Sports
Bengals +6
Panthers +1.5
Detroit Lions @ Minnesota Vikings (-13.5)
It's not feasibly possible to bet on the Lions ever again. And it's not that I didn't believe in the Bears, I just thought Chicago karma was coming home to roost. Adrian Peterson should rush for roughly 426 yards, while Jimmy Kimmel starts making new DirecTV commercials. Fun times for Detroit.
Vikings -13.5
Chicago Bears (-3) @ Atlanta Falcons
And as punishment for betting against them last week, the Bears are obviously road favorites. Which means I can't not take them and they can't not not cover. Or something like that involving a negative or twelve.
Bears -3
Miami Dolphins @ Houston Texans (-3)
This is a "No one knows what the hell to do with this line" game. The Dolphins are upstarting all up on the league right now and the Texans should have beaten the Colts last week. I think they should actually switch to a two QB system, where Rosenfels plays the first 55 minutes of the game and then Matt Schaub, or maybe Owen Daniels, comes in for the last five.
Dolphins +3
St. Louis Rams @ Washington Redskins (-14)
Even if you knew the Rams would be bad heading into this season, you never thought you'd see this line. The Skins won't stop winning and gosh darnit, I'm done betting on the Rams. Seriously. If it wasn't for Torry Holt's awesomeness, this whole team would be dead to me.
Redskins -14
Jacksonville Jaguars @ Denver Broncos (-3.5)
Denver can't stop anyone -- Warrick Dunn, who is a 56 year old vertically challenged tailback, just ran for 74 on 11 carries against them. Does anyone else think that's problematic? Because I do. I also feel like Maurice Jones-Drew and Fred Taylor could wreck some havoc here.
Jaguars +3.5
Philadelphia Eagles (-6) @ San Francisco 49ers
Donovan McNabb is motivated -- and bloggin' about it! Yeah, there's not really an option here.
Eagles -6
Dallas Cowboys (-6) @ Arizona Cardinals
The Cardinals are maddening to me. How can you get blown out by the Jets, lose your best wideout, and then blowout the Bills? Makes no sense whatsoever. Also, the Cowboys eeked by the Bengals and this game is at the Pink Taco.
Cardinals +6
Packers +3
New England Patriots @ San Diego Chargers (-5)
You both lost to the Dolphins. FAILless = Chargers, I suppose.
Chargers -5
New York Giants (-8) @ Cleveland Browns
It's pretty obvious at this point that we all (well, some of us idiots) got a little ahead of ourselves on the Brownswagon. This one could get really ugly for them in a really public manner.
Giants -8
