Clinton Portis Intends on Jumping the Shark

Redskins running back is going to do what in Hawaii?

The criticism of Clinton Portis has come from all directions. He's aging, lacks durability, and is not horny for Zorny.

One might say that Portis' time in DC has jumped the shark. Well, always one to stick it to his doubters, that's exactly what Clinton Portis will be doing.

In Hawaii for the upcoming NFL Pro Bowl, the Honolulu Star Bulletin is reporting that Portis will spend some time with teammate Colt Brennan while in a cage -- underwater ... and surrounded by teeth and aggression.

Portis was coy when asked if his contract forbade precarious activities like shark diving. But hey, if he can survive a shark attack, then the D-Line of the Steelers should be no sweat.

The are numerous possibilities which can result from the foray of Colt and Sheriff Gonnagetcha into the deep blue sea.

Maybe Clinton will take the advice that you should hug a shark if attacked and apply it to his on-again, off-again relationship with his coach. Or perhaps Portis will form a bond with his young teammate and say aloha to the islands with a new nickname, such as the Hawaiian Hot Pocket, in tow.

One thing we do know: If complaints of fondling start coming from the underwater shark legal system, Colt will have a lot of explaining to do.


In other news, Portis gives a vote of no-confidence in Jason Campbell (sort of), "[Colt Brennan] deserves a shot. When he gets his shot, I think he'll go out and be real exciting."

Are you listening Candle?

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