One Way to Fight Aging: Get a DC Driver's License

Avoid beards, losing weight

It's a sure way to hide your age -- get a D.C. driver's license.

A new change implemented Friday calls for D.C. drivers to get a new photo for their driver's license once every 17 years instead of the old policy of once every six years, according to the Examiner.

So if you get a photo taken at the age of 21, you don't need another until you turn 38. A lot can change in those 17 years, but the government won't know it. Grow a unibrow after college? No problem. The DMV won't document it for nearly two decades. Plenty of time to decide if it's a keeper.

But some don't agree with the new policy. That includes Council member Jim Graham, who is concerned about homeland security, of course.

"Just from my own experience, I know how much I’ve changed in 17 years," Graham told the paper. "Seventeen years ago, I had a beard.”

Apparently if Graham grew the beard now, he'd be considered a terrorist. Granted, a terrorist with a bow tie and fashionable eyewear, but a terrorist nonetheless.

John Townsend of AAA Mid-Atlantic took it a step further. Forget about terrorism, what about cashiers who can't accept checks because they can't figure out if a person is really the same one in the driver's license photo?


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“It’s shortsightedness on the part of government,” Townsend told the Examiner.

And for those people looking to lose weight? Don't even bother, because your slimming features could cause concern when trying to purchase alcohol ("You look too skinny to be over 21, kid").

Why the change in policy? It's about savings, obviously. Saving money, saving people's time, saving people's sanity by not having to go to the DMV any more then they have to.

And it's not just D.C. that's making the move. Virginia made a similar decision last year and now requires a new photo every 16 years, according to the Examiner. Maryland drivers have to renew their licenses every five years.

So the moral of the story? Make sure you get a good photo, because if not you may be mistaken for a terrorist, denied when trying to use a check and could just get downright depressed for the next 17 years.

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