Even though a figure no less than Vice President of the United States Joe Biden urged Americans to stay at home and hide from the world forever to avoid catching Pig Flu Thursday morning, the local Metro still has the verve to tell residents to keep riding its tainted, biohazardous machines of terrible death. And the ignorant masses appear to be responding to this lie.
Joe Biden tried to be honest Thursday morning by informing his countrymen that LOOK, you get on a train, a plane, a car, or anything else that is indoors, and guess what, you're gonna get attacked by an insane Mexican pig almost definitely, so don't be an idiot, got it? GOT IT?
It was yet another instance of important "straight talk" from the man behind the "Straight Talk Express."
But the Metro pretends that none of this is happening. The Metro wants you to die, so it can sell your corpse to the Chinese on eBay. This is real. And how is the Metro trying to lure the public into its pig-death trap? By saying, "Nah don't worry, we threw some Tussin on the floor just this morning."
Metro said earlier this week that it was disinfecting trains and rail stations daily, and hitting buses every 14 days with hospital-grade disinfectant. On Thursday, Metro decided to disinfect the buses every week instead — and could do it more frequently if the flu spreads more in the Washington area.
The agency is printing signs for rail stations and buses, urging riders to know the symptoms of the flu and to wash hands or use alcohol-based hand cleaners. The agency won’t have the signs up until mid-May, even though they are printed in-house.
And by mid-May, we'll all be dead.
Jim Newell writes for Wonkette and IvyGate.