DC Officials Launch 400th Annual Voting Rights Quest

Measure to bring full House seat goes to committee today

Today marks the beginning of the latest installment of Washington D.C.'s favorite pastime: watching the District's fake Congressional delegate lady try to force "real American" members of Congress to grant her full House voting rights.

Legislation of this nature has made inconsequential runs through the bowels of Congress every two or three years, consistently, since approximately 1423 A.D.

But this time the efforts -- which kick off today with a fancy House subcommittee hearing (more fun to watch if you're wasted!) -- may pass, and you can thank one person for that: Barack Obama, the communist.

The legislation being introduced today is nearly identical to the last unsuccessful bill from 2007, which failed to reach a filibuster-safe majority of 60 votes in the Senate. George W. Bush was president in those days and considered it his duty to prevent black Democrats from having any say in anything PROTECT THE CONSTITUTION.

Despite having less than zero political capital and no supporters whatsoever, anywhere, at the time, Bush was able to stop the Democrats from their usual agenda of giving power to the terrorists. Because if you treat a federal district like a state, next thing you know people will be marrying children or wild animals!

This time around, however, Democrats have seven more seats in the Senate and a president with no respect for the family values of the Constitution, so the possibility of overcoming a filibuster appear promising. Obama even co-sponsored the 2007 version and has openly supported a "full House seat" since.

The bill attempts to woo a leaning Republican or two by offering Utah an additional (obviously Republican) seat, for parity. This means that all five Romney boys will be able to share it and blog about all the wacky pranks they pull in meetings! Everybody wins!

Jim Newell has "full voting rights" as a writer. He has been an editor at Wonkette since 2007. Previously he edited the blog IvyGate, covering future politicians as they did despicable things that, years later, they will deny on the campaign trail."

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