Dish of Salt: Top Ten TV Quotes Of Last Week

#10 – “Apparently they ran out of video tape and figured why bother anymore?”
-- ABC’s “Jimmy Kimmel Live”

Jimmy Kimmel on the news that Paris Hilton and her boyfriend Benji Madden have broken up.

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#9 -- “At my house you can do both… Cuddling and ‘SportsCenter.’”
-- CBS’s “Two And A Half Men”

Charlie Harper to his latest girlfriend who he is annoyed to find out doesn’t have a TV in her bedroom.

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#8 -- “I’m sorry but I’m not going to watch ‘The Clone Wars’ TV series until I’ve seen ‘The Clone Wars’ movie. I’d prefer George Lucas disappoint me in the order he intended.”
– CBS’s “Big Bang Theory”

Sheldon Cooper saying what most “Star Wars” fans feel about watching any new Lucas produced “Star Wars” installments.

#7 -- “You’re gonna work this thing like a Chinese gymnast: wear something tight, force a smile, and lie about your age..”
NBC’s “30 Rock”

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Jack Donaghy to Liz Lemon about going on a date with eccentric businessman Gavin Volure (guest star Steve Martin).

#6 – “‘Partridge Family’ star Danny Bonaduce is getting a new reality show in which women compete to be his wife. Apparently the loser is whoever marries Danny Bonaduce.”
-- NBC’s “Late Night With Conan O’Brien”

Conan O’Brien in his nightly monologue.

#5 – “They said, ‘How about writing a book?’ and she said ‘You betcha, as long as I don’t have to read it!’”
-- CBS’s “Late Show With David Letterman”

David Letterman in his nightly monologue about news that Sarah Palin has signed a seven million dollar book deal.

#4 -- “Now can I be gay?”
-- ABC’s “Desperate Housewives”

Andrew Van De Kamp to his mom Bree after a newspaper writer learns her husband Orson has been to prison, despite Bree’s best effort to portray them as a “perfect” family for a favorable article about her new cookbook.

#3 – “Barack Obama met with Hillary Clinton on Friday to see if she would be interested in a role in his administration. ‘Of course,’ said Hillary. ‘I’ll take President.’”
-- NBC’s “Saturday Night Live

Seth Myers on Weekend Update

#2 -- “No, God! No God please! No! No! No! Noooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!”
-- NBC’s “The Office”

Michael Scott’s reaction upon learning that human resources rep Toby Flenderson has returned from Costa Rica to the Scranton branch of Dunder Mifflin.

#1 -- “I feel like the blue team should be frolicking in the Garden of Eden but that stupid backstabbing bitch bit the apple and f&*!ed it all up for us”
-- NBC’s “The Biggest Loser”

An evil Vicky to the cameras after blue team member Amy went against the team and voted Vicky’s husband Brady out of the competition.

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