There aren’t many options left for once-promising starlet Lindsay Lohan. No respectable filmmaker will hire her. No insurance agency will insure her. It’s likely that Lohan will never work on a major Hollywood production again. All that’s left for her is low budget indie half-porn and, of course, a reality show, that clever vehicle designed for people who find actual ACTING just a wee bit too challenging. We all knew a Lohan reality show was coming at some point. Now Dina Lohan, Lindsay’s mom and erstwhile Svengali, tells the New York Post that reality show is coming soon.
”We have already started filming. The cameras follow us in our daily lives and as we promote our businesses.
I want to prove that we are a good, hardworking family and we don't have the crazy lives that some people claim we do. The show will feature my kids, and Lindsay will also appear in some episodes, although she's very busy filming and promoting her fashion lines. We're discussing a deal with a major network."
Nothing Dina Lohan says is remotely credible, apart from the “we already started filming” thing. This family would have camera lenses injected directly into their bloodstream if such a technology were available (fingers crossed!). The question here is obvious. Dina says the cameras follow her and her family around as they promote their businesses. Well, who on Earth wants to watch THAT? Sorry, lady. I’m not gonna watch your show if it’s just a stupid ad for you.
If I’m gonna watch a Lohan reality show, it better have Lindsay on every episode and she better be acting crazy. If the Lohans really were a good, hardworking family that isn’t nuts (they aren’t), that would make for horrendous television. Doubly so for the Lohan family, given that you would know instantly the show was a blatant fraud.
I don’t buy that a major network is dealing for this thing without getting in writing that they can film Lindsay a lot, and that they can film anything they darn well please. Dina Lohan is clearly looking for some kind of image makeover vehicle here. No network will be dumb enough to assist her.
But fear not, people. You will get a warts-and-all Lohan reality show at some point. Maybe not now. Maybe when every possible credit line has been exhausted by Dina and her family, and broadcasting their woes for all to see becomes the only financial option they have. I assure you that day isn’t very far off.