Sometimes this stuff just writes itself.
Case in point: U.S. Customs and Border Protection officers at Dulles International Airport discovered more than 60 grams of cocaine ... inside a fully cooked chicken. Unfortunately, this chicken's unique blend of 11 herbs and spices included a white powdery substance.
Maybe Wagner Mauricio Linares Aragon, 32, of Guatemala, was just really, really hungry, but we've never seen any cocaine chickens for sale at the Whole Foods on P Street.
The chicken carrier arrived on a flight from El Salvador just after midnight on Saturday, Nov. 28. "During a secondary inspection, CBP officers discovered two small clear plastic bags inside the chicken's cavity," said a press release from Customs and Border Protection.
(We never want to hear a U.S. agency talking about the body cavity of any formerly living thing ever again.)
The cocaine had an estimated street value of $4,300. Linares Aragon was promptly turned over to the Metropolitan Washington Airports Authority Police after being separated from his chicken cordon blow.