FanHouse in the Stands: Dolphins at Texans, Complete With French Maid Outfits

This season, FanHouse writers take their cameras to NFL stadiums to document what happens when you stop being polite and start getting real. Or something. We've cleverly titled it "FanHouse in the Stands."

First of all, I like to thank all of you who said kind things to me over the last weeks as the Haus' resident beleaguered Texan fan. Gracias. Here's some flavor of the game, including a cheerleader video for those who like that sort of thing:

Welcome to Hispanic Heritage Day

The Texans have themes for their home games and yesterday was "Hispanic Heritage Day." My buddy Sweet, from the Raging Bull Tailgaters celebrated with his Texans poncho. He bought that in Mexico, and I'm guessing that isn't an NFL approved product.

In a nod to the themed day, the Texans cheerleaders originally came out of the tunnel wearing frilly skirts. A friend sitting near me said he thought they looked more like French maid outfits. He did not mind. I did not take pictures of the outfits, but if you want to judge the frenchmaidiness of the cheerleaders, there's plenty of pictures over at

Strangely enough, the cheerleaders after the half came out in track suits after the half. They temporarily clothed themselves to do a promotion for the Texans Junior Cheerleaders, a program that allows young girls to cheer at one of the games. A junior cheerleader dances with the regular cheerleaders in this video:

Pretty hot outside for track suits. And they were not popular with the random sampling of menfolk in my section. Shortly after the dance, the cheerleaders went back to their scantily clad selves.

Beat the Salmon?

At the Lone Spot Tailgaters, my friend George made his amazing smoked salmon in honor of playing the Dolphins. Yeah, I know a dolphin is a mammal, but they swim so it is close enough. Besides, salmon is high in Omega-3 fats, so that's supposed to be good to ward off depression that can come from a disappointing start of the year.

Most importantly, smoked salmon is delicious. Even people who don't like salmon like George's salmon.

DirecTV's Sunday Ticket in the Stadium

If you haven't been to an NFL stadium in a while, you may not know about Kangeroo TV. It is a handheld device that allows you to watch all the NFL games while you are at a game.

My friend Diane scammed her way into trying it out for free as long as they could show her holding it on the jumbotron. Nearby seats won it, but the people didn't want it, so Diane figured it would be nice to try out to monitor her picks for the week.

She thought it was okay, but sort of distracting. The picture quality was remarkably good, even in direct light.

Super Marios and Me

Mario Williams had yet another 2 sack game, including a forced fumble. I didn't see Williams after the game, but I did run into the Super Mario Brothers. They sit in seats right behind the Texans bench. Actually, one of the guys is a substitute bro, but if you sit in those seats, you have to wear the outfit.

One of the guys told me that Williams came up to them after the last game of last season and told them how much he appreciates their support. That though during games, he can't acknowledge their efforts, that he hears them and appreciated their support when a lot of people weren't supporting him.

Some people trash dressed up fans supporting their team as being ridiculous but I love them and love being one of them. Sports by its nature is ridiculous. We pay big money to watch people transport a strange-shaped ball around. It's supposed to be fun, and I can tell you that dressing up in support of your favorite team is more fun than not dressing up.

Though I got to say, I'm not sure how you can drink beer with those hands they have. The sacrifices fans make in support of their team, I suppose.

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