Sure, this year's Academy Awards were smaller, more intimate, and recession-friendly. But they lacked one vital component: an awesome, epic, YouTubeable podium meltdown.
We wanted tears! We wanted snot! Barring that, we'd have settled for something quotably cuckoo a la "you like me, you really like me!" or "I'm the king of the world!".
We were hoping Kate Winslet would lose it, but she'd received such a royal smackdown for her gushing Golden Globe episode that she stuck to some trite blather about practicing her speech in her bathroom mirror as a kid. Yawn.
And we had high hopes for Mickey Rourke -- especially after we learned, in a red-carpet interview, that his beloved Chihuahua had died six days earlier and he had the dog's Oscar tuxedo in his pocket -- but then Sean Penn had to go and ruin everything by winning.
So to feed our jones, we turn to Movie-Moron.com's list of the Top 10 Most Embarrassing Oscar Speeches of all time. Cringe all over again at Julia Roberts, Halle Berry, and a gothed-out Angeline Jolie with a whole lot of brotherly love.