Welcome to Watch List, where we identify five things tonight that may possibly be worth staying in to file your heel skin for. LET’S GO!
MODERN FAMILY - 9PM (ABC)
Minnie Driver alert! The “Good Will Hunting” star shows up as a friend of Claire’s who isn’t really a friend. Again, this is precisely why this is the best comedy on television right now. It’s just so spot-on. No woman I know has friends she actually likes. They all have a select group of people whom they choose to badmouth outside of polite company. That’s just how they work. ANTICIPATION: GIDDY
SUPER BOWL’S GREATEST COMMERCIALS – 8PM (CBS)
As someone who worked in advertising for over a decade and continues to do so on occasion, it’s my duty to inform you that many of the ads you see tonight will NOT be the greatest ads in Super Bowl history. You will inevitably get crummy ads like that one where Cindy Crawford goes to the Pepsi machine and the two kids ogle the new Pepsi can. That ad is stupid and has aged poorly. Be on the lookout for the old Michael Jordan/Larry Bird HORSE game ad. That ad actually IS one of the best ever, and proves that even MJ wasn’t immune to the Cosby sweater era. FUN FACT: That spot was directed by the notorious Joe Pytka. Pytka once had a contract rider stipulating that his Ferrari be available to him at the set at all times. DIRECTORS! ANTICIPATION: MIDDLING, UNLESS DORITOS GIRL POPS UP
Meat! Meat meat meat meat meat! And hair with frosted tips! Together in one special! It’s snowing outside my house today. No drinking in a parking lot for me. Stupid weather. ANTICIPATION: HUNGRY
STEVEN SEAGAL: LAWMAN – 10PM (A&E - an NBC/Universal network)
I demand more bad one-liners out of Steven on this show. I want to see him chicken wing a suspect and then say to him, “I can disarm arms, you know.” ANTICIPATION: OF DEATH IS WORSE THAN DEATH ITSELF (Rent “Hard to Kill,” people)
SHEAR GENIUS – 10PM (Bravo – an NBC/Universal network)
This is the show that’s like “Top Chef” and “Project Runway,” only it's for haircuts. There’s no way the one liner to send out eliminated contestants isn’t “You’ve been cut,” or “You’ve been snipped,” or “We hate you and want you to leave.” ANTICIPATION: NERVOUS. JUST HOPING THEY RESPECT MY REQUEST FOR “THE CLOONEY."