It's been a long recovery for Shia LaBeouf since the night his Ford F-150 flipped during a late-night collision last July, injuring his left hand – and in a new interview with Playboy, the star said it'll never be the same again.
"Permanently f****d," he told Playboy. "I'll never be back to 100 percent or have full recovery. I can't zipper my zipper or button my shirt without extreme pain. But I chalk it up as my own s**t. This accident is what I needed in my life. I'm not in control. For the first time, I can admit that and know that –- the hand is like a tattoo that says MISTAKE."
Shia, 22, told the mag he shouldn't have gotten behind the wheel that fateful night.
"I had a whiskey and three beers," he said. "I'm not going to start speaking on law stuff now and corner myself, but the fact that I ever got into the car was a mistake."
"I'm in AA now, too," he continued. "I've had drinks, but it has been a leveling-out process. Am I an alcoholic? I may not be. I don't know. But I also know that in the situation I'm in, with temptations what they are, I have no room for alcohol in my life."
As previously reported on AccessHollywood.com, the Los Angeles District Attorney's office announced last September that there was "insufficient evidence" to charge the actor with drunken driven, though his license was suspended in January as a result of his "refusal of chemical tests" directly following the accident.
Despite his troubles, the young star has become a box office success thanks to such movies as "Transformers" and "Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull," and he said that "Jones" director Steven Spielberg stood by him through the turbulence.
"He remains faithful and very much a mentor," Shia said. "He calls to check in. Harrison Ford calls too."
Though Shia once starred on Disney's "Even Stevens," he didn't have a squeaky-clean childhood – he grew up "broke" with self-described hippie parents in LA's Echo Park neighborhood and an anything-goes lifestyle that extended to the TV show's set.
"I would do insane things," he said. "We'd be working on scenes… and we'd decide, 'Hey, let's strip down to our bare asses and streak down the hallway.' Somewhere in the Disney vaults there's video footage with my penis on it."
And life at home was sometimes spent under the influence.
"I like pot," Shia said. "I grew up with a bunch of hippies, and marijuana was always around. It has never been a monster for me. But I definitely saw from a very young age what drugs can do to you."
As a teen, he starred on "Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle" while going through puberty – and said being around the film's beautiful stars was "torture."
"Lucy Liu… would play with my mind," he said. "I was deep in puberty at this point. Hormones are flying off of me. I mean, what are you supposed to do? You're 14, 15 years old, and you've got the f******g sexiest woman in the world sitting across from you."
But now, Shia says he's growing up, and fans will see him back and bigger than ever in this summer's "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" – a film he claims earned Guiness World Records for its explosions.
"[It's] the first movie ever to shoot with actors on the Pyramids," Shia said. "We got something like five Guinness records for making this film, including one of the biggest explosions with an actor in it in the history of cinema."
Though acting alongside CGI robots is tricky, Shia said director Michael Bay was a big help.
"He'll blow things up for no reason, just to get a reaction," he said. "The guy's a maniac."
While Shia said he's happy to be an action star, he's hoping to one day tone things down on screen.
"I feel like the luckiest guy in the world to get the roles I get," he said. "Sure, I'd sometimes rather be cooking pancakes with Dustin Hoffman in a movie like 'Kramer Vs. Kramer.'"
Related Content from AccessHollywood.com:
PLAY IT NOW: Trailer: 'Transformers: Revenge Of The Fallen'
PLAY IT NOW: Shia LaBeouf: The Early Years