Pat Burrell has a pretty sweet nickname. "The Bat." Not only does it make sense phonetically -- rare is the nickname that trickles forth from an announcer's tongue with such minimal effort -- but it implies that he excels at swinging the chosen tool of his professional trade. This is the stuff nicknames are made of, people.
Ah, but that's not Burrell's only nickname. It's just his most famous. Via Deadspin, today we found out that Burrell is also nicknamed "The Bait" for reasons far less savory than "skill at baseball":
During his appearance on Fox, Kalas introduced Pat Burrell as "The Bait," then said that was a story for another day. That day has come. Here's that tale: During Burrell's first few years with the club, before he was married, the older players used to command him to make appearances at the bar while the Phillies were on the road. They dangled him as "bait" to attract women.
That's just sad. Not only for the women Burrell has likely deked, just before turning them over to Brad Lidge. That's sad for the fellow members of the Philadelphia Phillies, who apparently need to enlist some sort of hired beefcake to attract women. Hey, dudes: You're PROFESSIONAL BASEBALL PLAYERS. You make millions of dollars. The rest of us do OK*, and we don't have half your money or undeserved social status. Get your own women, for chrissakes.
*Disclaimer: Does not include Tom Fornelli.