Gawker to D.C.: You Suck!

You're not cool, and boring too!

Note to D.C. residents: Gawker hates you.

From the I'm Cooler Than You Department comes this little Web entry that says ... well, D.C. sucks, isn't cool and is boring.

All we need are a few "Your Momma" jokes and this would take us right back to high school!

Apparently New Yorkers are feeling threatened because they're not getting all the attention these days. With President Barack Obama's arrival, there seems to be more stories in the New York Times and other mainstream media outlets praising the District and all is has to offer than discussing the same, tired old story of how New Yorkers love to dress in black.

Seriously, some color never hurt anyone. At least start with a dark blue or something.

Anyway, check out a few lines from Alex Pareene's quality Gawker post:

DC is boring. It's small: 591,833 residents, with a "daytime population" of a million. (Some like to enlarge the "metro area" to include Baltimore, making it the fourth-largest such area in the country, which is like claiming Philly is a part of New York) And if you're counting the whole metro area, you're counting people who live in the least cool places in America: the Maryland and Virginia suburbs.

Oh, how cute. Making the District seem puny and unworthy of comparison to the big, bad NYC. And who really includes Baltimore in the Metro area discussion? Unless you're an Orioles fan, I suppose.  But on the other hand, I'm sure New York would love to swallow up Philly so it has a new place to put its trash.

To us, this all sounds like a new, more intense form of bitterness from our friends to the north.

But in reality, what's going on is that when New Yorkers carelessly crashed Wall Street, everyone looked to D.C. to bail them out. We've watched from afar as you partied hard, but when times got tough you called home for help.   It's admirable.  And cute in a foolish sort of way.

But don't worry, New York. We've got your back. Just lay off the pretentiousness for a while.

Care for a half smoke?

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