Washington Post Co. Profit Down 77 Percent

And in this thriving print media era, of all times!

You may have read on the Internet that print newspapers are not doing very well in the current Great New Depression. Isn't it great how many free articles are available on the Internet?

Well it's true, so say goodbye to your local newspaper -- the esteemed Washington Post!

The Washington Post Company, which owns a whole bunch of stuff including the Washington Post newspaper, recorded a 77 percent decline in profit during the fourth quarter of 2008. Again, that number was 77 percent.

On the bright side, the Company's "education division," headed by the Kaplan academic testing service, saw its revenue climb 13 percent. Because even if the economy fails and we resort to cannibalism while Giant Rats infiltrate the power structure, kids will still feel the need to study for the SAT with "tips" from a Kaplan book.

Anyway, yes, newspapers. Revenue for the newspaper sector of the Washington Post Company dropped 13 percent.

So what's in store for your local Washington Post newspaper? Well, they decided to stop printing Book World recently, despite an influx of sentimental, vague, and basically useless protest letters from novelists. So that should save a few bucks.

What else could they cut? Well, we would suggest the entire opinion section, but then where would we go to find out what our opinions are?

Besides, those columnists are a real happenin' bunch! They've got all this raw, young talent over there, guys like Charles Krauthammer, George Will, Richard Cohen, and that just-out-of-college hepcat David Broder.

If it weren't for these guys and the Post editorial board's work, our government leaders might not have invaded Iraq, and we would still be having at least four 9/11s a day.

Jim Newell writes about David Broder's acid fantasies for Wonkette and IvyGate.

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