Want to Plump Up Your Pancake Boobs?

Later this month at an annual meeting, experts from the American Society of Plastic Surgeons (ASPS) will present a new procedure that they say will correct “severely deflated, sagging breasts.” The new surgery fixes so-called pancake boobs without the use of breast implants.

Almost all of us could tell tales about how the passing of time has ravaged our breasts. Aging, breast-feeding, weight loss, or, you know, the earth’s gravitational pull—all of these elements can leave your breasts a shadow of their teenage selves. Some of us buy more supportive bras, others opt to go under the knife.

For the latter group, this new rescue operation involves lifting and restoring breasts to a more natural, full shape and position—as in back up where they belong and standing at attention. This is something different from the nearly 348,000 breast augmentations and 104,000 breast lifts performed last year.

“In the past several years, I’ve seen more women in their 50s who are unhappy with their breasts,” says Dennis Hurwitz, MD, an ASPS Member Surgeon. “These women have had numerous pregnancies, waited later in life to have children, lost a lot of weight, or simply haven’t aged well and want to restore their figure. The breast irregularities these patients share are unique. These are not your run-of-the-mill augmentation patients who simply want to enlarge their breasts from an A to C cup.”

So these “unique” women (whose breasts have fallen and can’t get up) now have their own surgery, called the spiral flap. Here’s how it works: Tissue and fat from your belly or under your arms is removed and shaped into a breast mound. It’s secured with absorbable sutures into a tissue sheet that acts like a sling to hold the flap into position on your chest wall. Voila! Not only do you lose some belly fat and/or your bat wings, but your breasts are enlarged and reshaped.

I’ve always been leery of breast implants, but this sounds great. Sign me up! But—oops—this probably won’t work for me. Dr. Hurwitz says it’s best for women who’ve lost a large amount of weight and related skin elasticity, which creates the sag and the dreaded pancake effect. Drat, guess I’ll just have to wait until they invent a procedure for my breasts, which aren’t really like pancakes, more like…bagel boobs? No, more like giant cinnamon roll boobs—which sound more delicious than they are.