Actual Craigslist Post: Will Restore Your House to Live There was originally published on Housing Complex on Mar. 17, 2009, at 7:41 pm
Celebrating the weird living arrangements Craig and his list have cooked up…
Actual headline: REMODEL-HISTORICAL RESTORATION BARTER
Perfect for: A slumlord, wanting to reform his/her ways. This advertisement is not for housing—it’s for a potential tenant, hoping to saw, hammer, and sand his/her way out of a full rent check. Seriously, this Craigslister will “renovate/redesign-for nice furnished accommodations plus partial payment.” So for all those shady landowners, who’ve always thought Well the place would be a hell of a lot nicer if the lazy, good-for-nothing tenants just cleaned it up, here’s your chance! Bring in this guy or gal, and your property will be ready for the neighborhood charity house tour by next fall.
Since the advertisement will likely disappear in a few days, I’ll reproduce it here:
GREETINGS- MY NAME IS ANDREW - I SPECIALIZE IN CUSTOM FINISHING CARPENTRY- DESIGN AND INSTALLATIONS-HISTORICAL RESTORATIONS-MULTI-TASK REMODELING/KITCHEN AND BATH- PROJ. MGT. VERY SKILLED- FULLY TOOLED. I WILL RENOVATE/REDESIGN- FOR NICE FURNISHED ACCOMODATIONS PLUS PARTIAL PAYMENT ,VERY NEGOTIABLE- FREELANCE ARCHITECTURAL ARTISAN.