Are you a caffeine addict? Yes? Good. Are you also an alcoholic? Yes? Great! Do you have more refined tastes than a vodka and Red Bull? Even better.
You can now thank America's (and the world's) wine industry for the latest trend in corked beverages: coffee-flavored wine.
We'll pause here to let most of you stop wincing.
Coffee-flavored pinotage wines (whatever the heck that means; our wine comes in a jug) are catching on. The flavor isn't necessarily new, even if the sensation is, says Wine Goggle:
"In 2001 winemaker Bertus Fourie was experimenting with yeasts and wood in the making of Pinotage when he noticed a distinctive mocha-coffee aroma and flavour in some of the batches he was playing around with. The experiments were bottled, and the success of Diemersfontein Pinotage due to its slight coffee undertones is history. The public loved it."
It does raise the question. Which kind of coffee? Does this taste like a dark Starbucks roast? Like a light Dunkin' Donuts drip? Like that pot that's been sitting on the convenience store burner since 7 a.m.? If only they could make it taste like Sanka.
Red wine with coffee flavors? Interesting. Wake us up when they make a gravy-flavored wine. Mmmm.