From the "Sometimes This Stuff Just Writes Itself" department:
Topless Hairstylist Needed [spelling/grammatical errors intact]:
We are currently looking for licensed cosmotologist/hair stylist to interview for a new high end mens salon/club opening soon. The themed salon will be around real stylist whom are dressed either in lingerie or topless depending on the service chosen by the customer. This will be a classy enviroment with upscale pricing and a 50/50 split with huge tip potential. You must be attractive, skilled, engaging, and willing to make every cut a memorable experience. There were be very strict policies in place with an emphasis of providing a extremely safe and pleasant working enviroment. We are only hiring the best 10 candidates so get your application in. Please email us your resume and a photo. We will be scheduling in person interviews based on the applicates qualifications and over all presentation. All resumes and inquires will be strictly confidential and not released or shared with anyone outside the HR department of the company.
Know how we know this place WON'T actually be "classy and upscale"? They can't spell "environment" or "applicants." Yeah. THAT'S why it won't be classy. Because they have poor grammar.
Logistically speaking: Where would they put their tips? What if they tripped while carrying clippers? Why I Hate D.C. has a chilling thought of them covered in all those short little cut-off hairs. This concept = NOT SEXY.
That said, we can't wait to see if this will actually come to pass. Maybe they could move in on M Street between Camelot and
Joanna's Gentlemen's Club. It's always bugged us how there were a couple of non-naked venues in between.