But they've got nothing on what Hagerstown is offering. You, yes, you, could be named Hagerstown's Hottest Man.
Totalbeauty.com had named Hagerstown the No. 2 city in the country for ugly guys. The ugly dudes up there aren't going to take that laying down. They're going to fight back, and so the Herald-Mail is sponsoring a contest to find H-Town's hottest man, complete with a fugly, er, handsome dude photo gallery.
The winner gets an overnight at the Hagerstown Hotel, and the prestigeous title of Hagerstown's Hottest Male. No doubt, the 24-packs of beer and bevy of women are unmentioned side perks.
The paper's family columnist sums up the defense of the H-Town Male:
"Not all of our men have advanced college degrees, but there is something to be said for a man who gets up and consistently puts in an honest day's work. Faithfulness, loyalty. That's where it's at.
"So what if they don't wear suits every day. Flannel is softer for hugs."
(Just make sure you've washed the deer blood out of it first.)
Live in H-Town and think you're the hottest? Enter away.