Shirt, Shoes, Service, But NO PANTS on Metro

Do not, we repeat, DO NOT wear pants on Metro this Sunday

We have one major concern going into the No Pants Metro Ride: If you're not wearing pants, where the heck do you store your SmarTrip card?

Oh, pish-posh, these people do this every year -- we're sure they have it all figured out by now, right? The annual No Pants Metro Ride is happening this Sunday, when merry pranksters converge on Metro to casually ride the trains as if absolutely nothing is out of the ordinary.

EXCEPT THEY'RE NOT WEARING ANY PANTS!

OK, right, you probably already guessed that from the fact that it's called the No Pants Metro Ride. The goal is to act completely casual during one's pantless Metro ride -- just spend the ride like you would any other, reading the Express, listening to your iPod, staring off into the distance, whatever.

Other cities do this at least once a year, too, including NYC. Reportedly, poor Baltimore only had two pantless riders last year, which just makes it seem sorta... awkward. Like a hot date gone truly, embarassingly wrong.

D.C. folks are planning to meet at Hancock Park at 2:30 p.m. this Sunday. But for the love of God, if you're planning on attending, please wear clean underwear. Make your mom proud.

Nellie's Sports Bar (900 U St. N.W.) will be hosting an after-party for the bare-legged, with specials including $4 rail drinks and mimosas, and $15 buckets of Bud, Bud Light and Michelob Extra.

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