Dear Women of DC:
On Saturday we celebrate Valentine’s Day. Regardless of the historical beginnings of this day, the 21st century version is probably more crass, and probably more commercial, than any of us would like to admit.
We expect men to essentially “deliver us the goods.” We know the checklist. Heck! We helped card shops, floral shops, jewelers, restaurateurs and the like help create this list. And it is our expectation of this day, which drive men to distraction.
On most things that relate to love, men are relatively clueless as to what we women want. This is why they say we “torture” them. But on this day, through a glut of media and marketing, there is less confusion about what we want. This is why we tend to be less patient and definitely less forgiving of screw-ups. So men work themselves up to not screw up Valentine's Day.
But don’t you think we too readily focus on the commercial manifestations of love to evidence romance rather than the man behind the actions?
Think of the book that Sarah Jessica Parker brought to greater fame in the movie "Sex and The City," "Love Letters of Great Men" by John Kirkland. Voltaire, George Washington, Mozart, Lord Byron, Keats, Shelley, et al, etc. These men were hardly known because they bought flowers or jewelry or wonderful food. These men were known because they loved their women with whatever resources they had. Sometimes these resources were scarce – like Mozart – while others had access to a more plenty, but at the end of the day the men showed their women THROUGHOUT their romance that they loved them. They didn’t focus on one day. It was a journey, an onward pursuit.
So as we wait to see whether our men deliver us the goods on the 14th we think we deserve, no matter what we get (and some of it will undoubtedly be really cheesy) we should appreciate our men for how they try. If this troubled economy evidences anything it’s that careers are fleeting and money can quickly become scarce, but what is true, what really lasts, is the love of someone who will be with you through thick or thin. If you have a man who loves you everyday, then cut him some slack if he doesn’t do everything you thought he should do on Valentine’s Day.
Also, don’t forget. Romance is a two-way street. Think about what he wants and give it to him.
Consider what is really important to you. Weigh the scales and then decide whether it’s true romance – or whether he deserves to be kicked to the curb – if he fails to deliver on Valentine’s Day.
Love,
The Girls of DC
On Saturday we celebrate Valentine’s Day. Regardless of the historical beginnings of this day, the 21st century version is probably more crass, and probably more commercial, than any of us would like to admit.
We expect men to essentially “deliver us the goods.” We know the checklist. Heck! We helped card shops, floral shops, jewelers, restaurateurs and the like help create this list. And it is our expectation of this day, which drive men to distraction.
On most things that relate to love, men are relatively clueless as to what we women want. This is why they say we “torture” them. But on this day, through a glut of media and marketing, there is less confusion about what we want. This is why we tend to be less patient and definitely less forgiving of screw-ups. So men work themselves up to not screw up Valentine's Day.
But don’t you think we too readily focus on the commercial manifestations of love to evidence romance rather than the man behind the actions?
Think of the book that Sarah Jessica Parker brought to greater fame in the movie "Sex and The City," "Love Letters of Great Men" by John Kirkland. Voltaire, George Washington, Mozart, Lord Byron, Keats, Shelley, et al, etc. These men were hardly known because they bought flowers or jewelry or wonderful food. These men were known because they loved their women with whatever resources they had. Sometimes these resources were scarce – like Mozart – while others had access to a more plenty, but at the end of the day the men showed their women THROUGHOUT their romance that they loved them. They didn’t focus on one day. It was a journey, an onward pursuit.
So as we wait to see whether our men deliver us the goods on the 14th we think we deserve, no matter what we get (and some of it will undoubtedly be really cheesy) we should appreciate our men for how they try. If this troubled economy evidences anything it’s that careers are fleeting and money can quickly become scarce, but what is true, what really lasts, is the love of someone who will be with you through thick or thin. If you have a man who loves you everyday, then cut him some slack if he doesn’t do everything you thought he should do on Valentine’s Day.
Also, don’t forget. Romance is a two-way street. Think about what he wants and give it to him.
Consider what is really important to you. Weigh the scales and then decide whether it’s true romance – or whether he deserves to be kicked to the curb – if he fails to deliver on Valentine’s Day.
Love,
The Girls of DC
