Teddy's Losing Streak About to Reach Historic Levels

If you've been holding out hope that Teddy will finally win the big one during a Presidents Race at Nationals Park (and by "big one," I mean just one; any one, really), save it.

Teddy's losing streak is about to reach historic heights never before seen in professional sports. According to NBC News, a loss in the Presidents Race Saturday will be the 26th President's 500th consecutive defeat in the "main event."

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"The losses haven't been graceful, either," Michael Smerconish said while filling in for Chris Matthews on "Hardball" Friday. "He's been tripped; he's been attacked; he's gotten distracted by popsicles. The one time he crossed the finish line before the others, Teddy was disqualified for shoving someone dressed like a cat. So what if the 500th time turns out to be the charm?"

Smerconish goes on to quote The Washington Post, which remarked that a win wouldn't change Teddy because, simply, "he couldn't possibly have a bigger head."

For the love of trust busting, end it now.

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