Teddy Wins!

My fellow D.C. residents, our long Nationals nightmare is over.

After six years of being trippeddisqualified, distracted by magic, jugglers and Twitter and tackled by fruit drink spokespitchers, Teddy finally won his first Presidents Race at Nationals Park Wednesday, snapping a 538-race losing streak. 

There had been rumblings that Teddy would finally earn his first career victory Wednesday, and after recent pep talks from Johns McCain and Cena as well as the Nationals themselves, he took advantage of interference from a Phillie Phanatic imposter and crossed the finish line with his arms raised.

The only president in U.S. history that could empathize with Teddy in regards to being ridiculed for so long is George W. Bush (though, to be fair, you all elected Bush twice; I wasn't allowed to vote until 2007), but not anymore.

"I'm just getting warmed up!" Teddy tweeted. "Time to get ready for the postseason! You ain't seen nothing yet! The Rough Rider has arrived!"

With his first win in the history books, Teddy now has more victories in presidential races than McCain, John Kerry, Ralph Nader, Ross Perot, Bob Dole, Michael Dukakis and Walter Mondale combined. 

Follow Adam on Twitter @AdamVingan and e-mail your story ideas to adamvingan (at) gmail.com.

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