Homer's Guide to the Redskins' Schedule

Scientific analysis proves that Skins rock!

When you're Offseason Champions like the Skins are every year, it's easy to make guesses about the upcoming season.  12-4 sound right?  Nah.  Too low.  13-3?  Yeah, that's the ticket!  Haynesworth 4-eva!!!

But then the cold reality of the schedule slaps you in the face.  You see the teams they're going to go up against, and you've got to reconsider some of those prior assumptions.

Take the games one-by-one, and come up with your best guesses, rather than stabbing at numbers blindly.

They open the season at the Giants.  That's a win.  Haynesworth will hold the Giants to 11 yards rushing.

Next, they take on the Rams.  The Rams might as well save the travel expense and forfeit right now!

2-0, the Skins are off to Detroit, and they're not bringing a bailout with 'em.  What's your guess?  A 53-2 win?

Then the Pewter Pirates come to town.  Jason Campbell threw for 300 yards the last time they played them.  With improvements to the team, you can pencil him down for 450 yards passing right now.  Win.

At Carolina?  We're not afraid of those pussycats.  Win.

Home for the Chiefs?  Your Matt Cassel Fun Fact: His middle name is Brennan, a clear sign that Colt's going to throw for 4 TD passes.  Another win.

Then they're hosting the Philthadelphia Eagles at home.  McNabb's already puking thinking about this one.  Win.

They're 8-0 heading into the bye!

At Atlanta?  Sophomore Slump for Ryan, Win.  Hosting Denver, Campbell's ready to show off.  Win.

At Dallas?  You really need to ask?  If Mark Brunell could win there, this team can.

At Philly?  Hmm...  A tie, perhaps, only because they'll be resting all their starters at this point.

Reggie Bush won't save New Orleans.  Win.  At Oakland?  Please.  The starters don't even make the plane trip.  Win.  Then they host the Giants.  At home, it's a lock: Win.

Then they finish up with Dallas and San Diego.  At this point, the Skins are on complete cruise control, playing mostly practice squadders.  Sounds like a split.

That adds up to 14-1-1.  Take it to the bank!!!

Danny better hurry up and print the commemorative T-shirts now!

Chris Needham used to write Capitol Punishment.  He's not typically the optimistic sort.

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