|satisfaction or pleasure felt at someone else's misfortune.|
On This Week In Schadenfreude we explore the sputtering rage, gibbering condemnation, and resigned ennui of the college football fan who has recently undergone humiliating defeat. Because even in your darkest hour, someone else is suffering too, and probably worse than you. Unless you are a Michigan fan who has just finished watching the Appalachian State game.
It was sort of like The Horror last year: Michigan takes on a ridiculously overmatched opponent, finds itself trailing late, gets a last-second chip-shot field goal to redeem themselves, and blows it. Also bloggers started posting mushroom clouds.
What is this?
This is a chemical burn. It will hurt more than you have ever been burned, and you will have a scar.
Uh... yeah. Michigan, you are the Tears of Unfathomable Sadness award recipient.
The rest of the week in spleen after the jump.
Michigan. I guess I should mention the chaos and strife going on on the homefront: MGoBlog currently has a Civil War painting foremost, describes the Wolverine-on-Wolverine violence currently engulfing the Michigan internets, and then perpetrates some of its own:
Elsewhere, Genuinely Sarcastic calls Michigan fans "gutless" and Varsity Blue declares M fans to "really really really really suck."
I expect a minor ethnic cleansing in the next six weeks.
Washington, mercifully, had an off week, so we must turn our attention elsewhere. How about 2-4 Arizona State, fresh off a 28-0 loss to USC? The mood on the ASU boards is decidedly mean:
Nothing like a random dude on the internet calling a starting D-I college quarterback a "joke." Unless that's Sam Keller, that's probably unwarranted.
Actually... is that Sam Keller? If I was him I'd certainly run around Arizona State message boards posting "lolcarpenter" as fast as humanly possible.
Also: there is a thread titled "hyper-obsessed rat loser," which immediately became a popular name to bestow on your Rock Band outfit.
Aaand let's check in once again on UCLA, losers to Oregon. Bruins Nation, what say you?
Aw, hamburgers. I miss Karl Dorrell.
When I get around to writing my book Ways In Which Football Bloggers Deal With Humiliating Defeat, "pretend you're living someone else's life and post a picture of a hot chick/kitten" will get its own chapter.
LSU lost to Florida, prompting completely reasonable things on LSU message boards like "Saban's players gone=Mediocrity" and "We shouldn't be happy with Mediocre." What is it with LSU fans and big-m Mediocrity? I don't know. I do know this, uh...
...is... uh. YOU WON THE NATIONAL CHAMPIONSHIP LAST YEAR. SHUT UP. SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP.
Syracuse 6, West Virginia 17. Cue the crying child:
Later, rinse, repeat.
At this point Oklahoma boards are mostly filled with anti-schadenfreude backlash instead of the actual stuff. The best item was from some guy on Soonerfans with a kickin' bald eagle/american flag icon giving it to the whiners. This is also a variety of reverse schadenfreude:
Tell me you haven't wanted to do that to people on the internet. If there was a throat-punching virus you could install on people's computers that would be rad.
We've also got some examples of schadenfeud, wherein the anger is directed at some incompetent media hack. In this case it's the Oklahoman's near-illiterate Berry Tramel:
Dude, I'm with you on that one.
Thanks, Block C. Your service to the cause has been appreciated, and good luck with whoever the next guy is.
Oh, what the hell, let's do one more, this from Sporting Gnomes:
Bowden's new answer is "somewhat, depending on how much you'll pay him."