In the spirit of St. Patrick's Day, we give you Julian Tavarez, who makes an alcohol analogy regarding his signing with the Washington Nationals. Tavarez compares joining the Nationals to trolling for women in dive bars in the wee hours of the night while inebriated (which I'm sure some you will be doing later, so don't judge.)
"Why did I sign with the Nationals?" Tavárez said on Sunday. "When you go to a club at 4 in the morning, and you're just waiting, waiting, a 600-pounder looks like J-Lo. And to me this is Jennifer Lopez right here. It's 4 in the morning. Too much to drink. So, Nationals: Jennifer Lopez to me."
The moral of the story: When you're in the bars Tuesday night for the holiday and someone hands you with a blank contract and asks you to sign it, be careful. Because after you've had 15 pints of Guinness, Mike Rizzo looks a lot like Jennifer Lopez.
So remember kids, drinking, signing with the Nats, and listening to J-Lo's music repeatedly on the jukebox for seven straight hours simply do not mix. Enjoy your St. Patrick's Day everybody.
Hat Tip: SportsbyBrooks
Julian Tavarez Is Brutally Honest originally appeared on MLB FanHouse on Tue, 17 Mar 2009 10:00:00 EST . Please see our terms for use of feeds.
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