Last week, after the Ryder Cup made its way back into American hands for the first time in nine years, the Europeans commenced with the whinging. Lee Westwood was first up, complaining about Boo Weekley's unseemly on-course actions, and then Ian Poulter, who was one of the few bright spots for Nick Faldo in the three-day event, accused Anthony Kim of body-checking him during last Saturday's fourball match.
Apparently, it did happen, just not as Poulter contends.
"I wasn't even paying attention and I looked up and Ian had just bounced off me," said Kim, who helped the US to their first Ryder Cup win since 1999.
"I didn't even see him, to be honest. I'm a lot shorter than he is, so I'm not going to throw my elbow into him," he added.
"I wasn't out there to bump anybody. That's not the spirit of the Ryder Cup. This isn't football. I'm sorry he took it personally."
Kim added, "I finally tracked down Poulter during the closing ceremonies, walked up to him and slapped him in the face with an open hand. I said, 'See, THAT was on purpose; the forearm shiver yesterday, THAT was an accident. Got it?'" Kim then walked away and Poulter promptly collapsed in a heap and sobbed uncontrollably.*
Back on Earth, no clue if Poulter ever got word that Kim's actions were, in fact, an accident, but I'm quite certain he was over the whole affair as soon as he settled into that comfy salon chair to have those tips re-frosted.
* Fiction. Duh.