Creepy New Screech Ready to Scare Kids

Nats unveil new version of old mascot

It's a new day in NatsTown.  The stiff winds blew out the GM, and brought in a new mascot.  The Nats unveiled a newer version of their not-so-lovable Screech mascot Monday.

(It's purely a coincidence that Bowden left the day before this, right?  Maybe he's just  transferring departments within the organization?)

The Sports Bog has the pictures.

Taller?  Yes.  Skinnier?  Yes.  Creepier?  Perhaps.

On one hand, it's an upgrade over the last one.  Ol' Screech never really looked much like an eagle.  His round body and over-sized feet made him look more like a chicken.

And the fur?  Ye gods, the fur.  Once white, by last season, he had taken on a distinct yellowish hue, like the color of a D.C. businessman's armpits during a mid-August heat wave.  No doubt they shared a smell in common, too.

But the worst trait of old Screech had to be the wildly inappropriate gestures he made.  His round, one-piece shape led to a lack of flexibility so that all he could do was rock his hips forward.  That part of D.C. hadn't seen that much pelvic thrusting since before the city invoked eminent domain.

So the new one has to be an improvement, right?

We'll see.  Screech looks like he's going through those awkward teenage years, with a head that doesn't quite fit right on his body -- a gangly body he hasn't quite grown into.

Kids generally love anything that's fuzzy, so that's going to determine whether the streamlined eagle is a hit.

But if the befeathered fuzzball starts doing the Electric Slide on the dugout roof, adult Nats fans reserve the right to start booing.

Chris Needham used to write Capitol Punishment.  He has never had the urge to dress up in fur -- not that there's anything wrong with that.

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