LaRon Landry's Kitchen: Perfect for His Monkey

And here we designed our kitchens for cooking...

Home & Design, which bills itself as the magazine of architecture and fine interiors, had probably never met a homeowner quite like Redskins safety LaRon Landry.

Among adjectives in a photo feature on his newly-redone Leesburg home are "stately," "spacious," "elegant," and "generous." There are plush couches, vaulted ceilings, and chairs so comfortable it won't take Brandon Jacobs to get him seated.

And then there's this, quite easily the best sentence to ever follow a paragraph on how fine vertical threading offers instant sophistication:

“I love the open kitchen area because Gucci [Landry’s white-face capuchin monkey] and my dog Trauma are close to the action -- and food,” says Landry.

Ah, the kitchen: where Landry picked out his own pendant lights, presumably bites on double moves even at home, and enjoys a monkey with whom he plans to die and a dog named Trauma.

You can take your little Fidos, H&D readers, and shove 'em up your own faux leather-painted ceilings. LaRon Landry has a monkey and a dog named Trauma, there is nary a Scarface poster to be found in his house, and Home & Design has now peaked forever.

The best part about Landry's home, even more so than his own personal LSU-styled gym, is that it is finished in shades of gold, burgundy, and brown -- constantly reminding him about the Redskins, 24/7. If Landry doubles his interceptions this season, we'll all have his decorator to thank.

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