If Chris Cooley ever invites you to dinner, you might want to pass.
Earlier this month, Cooley pinch-hit for Peter King in his weekly Monday Morning QB column. Cooley's column ran the gamut from ribbing Shaun Suisham to the development of a GPS ball.
He also got in a dig at Donvan McNabb and his writing abilities. (There's no word on whether McNabb puked on the floor upon reading it.)
But what might make Donovan sick is #9 on Cooley's list of "Things I Think I Think." Cooley said, "I think putting peanut butter, mustard and ham on a sandwich is awesome. The three ingredients are magical when put together."
Alrighty then.
Most of us like scrambled eggs, waffles and orange juice at breakfast, but not many of us are going to throw them all in a blender and drink them.
But one enterprising blogger met the challenge. The iron-stomached boys at Hogs Haven took on the Coolwich. One slathered some Jif on some Wonder Bread, threw a few slices of ham, and sprinkled some mustard on top. Yummy! His eleven-word review? "I'm going to make this short and sweet. It's not good."
Thus the hypothesis is confirmed.
But one person does not make a scientific fact. Hogs Haven took it a step further. He made a few extra sandwiches and brought them to a local watering hole for random bargoers to try.
One guy ate the whole thing -- must've been one of the Hogettes? One guy took two bites. The third could only muster one nibble.
Hogs Haven concludes: "Mr. Cooley, perhaps I made your sandwich wrong. I doubt it. It sucks. If you want to prove me wrong, I'm willing to take a taste test with you, but as of now, your wife has it right. AWFUL."
So three out of four -- a scientifically proven majority! -- says that it stinks. If Cooley ever does offer you a dinner invitation, just make sure to ask what's on the menu and who's cooking it before you RVSP.
Chris Needham used to write Capitol Punishment. He's definitely in the mood for a sandwich now, but definitely not that one.
