Stewart Cuts Hand, Bleeds, in Fake Weiner-Gate Conference

It was a heartfelt--or at least handfelt--apology

After receiving a lot of flack for taking it easy on shamed congressional pal Anthony Weiner, Jon Stewart took Tuesday night’s “Daily Show” as an opportunity to make amends, though he ended up bleeding for his cause.

Poking fun at Weiner’s constant sipping of water at his own press conference,
Stewart broke out a blender, making a margarita (strawberry, we think) to sip on instead. While pouring, Stewart broke the glass, cutting his hand.

“That’s not good,” Stewart deadpanned. “I’m probably gonna need to go to the hospital.”

Once he regained composure, the late-night comedic pundit also apologized to his viewing public for being “too lazy” to write jokes on last night’s “Daily Show,” as Weiner’s press conference aired live at 4:30 that afternoon, and Stewart’s show taped at 6:00pm.

“I did not explicitly state that Mr. Weiner had been deceitful last night. That he was a liar, and that I believed his pants to be on fire,” Stewart said.

“For these reasons, unlike the congressman, I have decided to step down.”

He turned over the helm to John Oliver, because his "accent makes you believe you can trust him.”

Though it turned out the only resigning Stewart did was to his dressing room to get his hand bandaged up. For the rest of the program, Stewart sported a bloodstained shirtsleeve and a wrapped-up wrist.

Now that’s showbiz.

Selected ReadingE!, Gawker, HuffPo

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